10th of november 2012

hey its been like awhile since ive blog about my life, but everything is messed up atm. friends that i thought i was good with thinks im a rat and everything, i dont know what i did wrong. But im so glad that no one got hurt or anything. i hope belinda is okay too since everyone said she kinda started everything. i believe whatever she says actually. i never doubted her for a second. it was a misunderstanding about everything. yeah im drunk as fuck atm but i still have some sense to speak the truth about what has happened tonight. there was a party and i was invited. i went and sunny came along cause he was apparently invited and all so we went. went and had the best time til i got called for something. i knew i didnt do anything so i went, after they call all of my boys to come and i thought something was happening and a guy came and asked if i was andy ta and what did i do wrong right? so i answered with the truth ''yes'' so they went with me and like the guy started pushing me through the front so i knew something was going on but i didnt do anything so i just stood my calm and hope to cope with everything that will happen. after all i didnt want anything to happen to my close friends, the friends that i share memories with. so they started asking about stuff and saying we were talking shit about them and i was so confused about everything cause they accused me for saying i talked shit when i barely even know them. i just knew their names but why would you talk shit about someone you dont know at all? cause that is dog as. But i was glad they blame everything on me though. dont want anything happening to my friends. i kinda expected to get stabbed or full beat up but the thing that would keep me happy is that every single one of them was safe no matter what. it might see as if im a good as friend but yet im the fucking worst friend they could have. i somewhat bought them into this and it is my responsibility for what they have done. cause you know what? from the start the oldest always should get the shit and i was the oldest. they all have a future ahead of them. they will become more successful than i ever will. doesnt matter how much i love belinda atm but somewhat get my close friends into shit like this, they are just not worth the time to love. they just dont deserve it anymore. cause why do i have to give so much love to one person and so much shit for my friends? its just not worth it at all. i dont even know why i typed so much. but its just cause whats been happening in my life now. its so shit and i hate it. i do kinda wish i was stabbed and killed tbh. it is something i rather prefer than living. i just wanted to live a normal life where i can have as much fun as i want and the friends that dont think im some fuckhead that talks shit about them. it was all i ever wanted. I just hope you are okay atm belinda. i saw how you punch the fence and all. but i really didnt say stfu to you. i just told sunny to dont talk about it. idk how you got stfu from me though but im sure it was some misunderstanding so its okay if youre super mad at me. ill just take all the blame for the sakes of my friends atm.

Andyy